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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24445117">sweet music, playing in the dark</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitkatsandcreampuffs/pseuds/kitkatsandcreampuffs'>kitkatsandcreampuffs</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>and they have a kid AU [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Motherland: Fort Salem (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, t for brief swearing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:48:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,992</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24445117</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitkatsandcreampuffs/pseuds/kitkatsandcreampuffs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>An unexpected deployment shifts things in the Ramshorn- Collar house...<br/>A melancholy fic about family love</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Raelle Collar/Scylla Ramshorn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>and they have a kid AU [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1768741</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>122</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. on metal wings i soar</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Credit to Hozier and his song Almost (sweet music) for the title and the lyrics. Saw this idea on a youtube comment, what if Almost was referring to a parent and child?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You know that meeting right?</p>
<p>“The one at the Hague.” Raelle confirmed, handing Scylla a plate from the dishwasher. It was a Tuesday evening, the rain fell gently outside, pittering on the cool pavement.  Isa was asleep and the two were finishing the rest of dinner clean up. Scylla had just returned from a week-long trip to The Hague.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Scylla sighed and turned to lean on the opposite counter. “I have some bad news..”</p>
<p>Raelle stopped mid-reach, glass halfway to the cabinet. “Bad news like what?” she frowned.</p>
<p>Scylla reached for her hand. She took a deep breath and looked into her eyes. “I'm being deployed again.” </p>
<p>Raelle stood with mouth agape in disbelief. “No fucking way.” She exclaimed. </p>
<p>Scylla shushed her and wacked her shoulder. “Shhhhhhh! Could you say it any louder?”</p>
<p>Raelle winced. “Owe sorry,” she whispered. “Don't tell me to be quiet there is no fucking way you are getting deployed. It's impossible, we’re in the reserves.” </p>
<p>Scylla motioned to the table and the two sit down. She put a tender hand on the blonde's knee.</p>
<p>“They found something, fungus something about its properties, it could be the key to everything.” </p>
<p>The blonde just stared at her. </p>
<p>“Where? “ she asked.</p>
<p>“Mongolia.” </p>
<p>“How long?” </p>
<p>Another hard question. </p>
<p>“7 months. It would have been longer but I argued that we have Isa and that I need to be back for her.” </p>
<p>“Why you, Scyl? There are plenty of other Nercos in the reserves, in the whole active army! You have a family!”</p>
<p>“I'm one of the only ones.”</p>
<p>“What?” </p>
<p>“The Spree. They knew about this, therefore, I knew. I'm better than most, though my knowledge is slim”</p>
<p>“When do you leave?”</p>
<p>“Three weeks. They just told me last week.” </p>
<p>“This is the first birthday you will miss, she only turns six once you know. What will we tell her?” Raelle put her head in her hands. </p>
<p>“The truth. Mommy is going away to help lots of people and it's going to be a long time but she will be back. We always come back.”</p>
<p>------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br/>
It rained the day she left too. The ride was uneventful, Scylla’s favorite CD played and Isa was thrilled to be missing a day of school to go on a trip with her parents. Scylla held Raelle’s hand the entire ride, continuing to peer into the back seat to tell Isa funny jokes, but mostly to be able to look at her beautiful loving child. Tucked into her pocket was a folded picture of Isa, Raelle, and her smiling in front of a large mountain range. A family backpacking trip earlier in the year. Her most prized possession. </p>
<p>The car rolled up the sloping freeway, the digital sign pointing to the drop off section for departing flights glowed against the stormy sky. The car finally slowed to a stop and pulled into an available spot just behind a large bus. A group of women, all in the familiar navy colored uniforms congregated by the opening door. </p>
<p>Scylla opened the door and scooped Isa from her car seat. Raelle popped the trunk to pull a large canvas bag from the back and deposited it on the sidewalk with a huff.</p>
<p>Isa was then introduced to her unit-mates, who all engaged her in smiles and let her ask questions about their various medals and patches. All looked at Scylla with sympathetic eyes. The same thought buzzed through their heads. She was the one they had to drag out of the reserves, the best of the best. But this, this was the reason she fought tooth and nail to stay. A worthy cause.</p>
<p>These introductions went on for a bit until Scylla looked at her watch. Her flight left in an hour, it was time to go. </p>
<p>Isa waved goodbye to her new friends and Scylla set her on the ground and crouched to look her little girl in the eyes. She brushed her hair from her face to give her a kiss on the forehead. </p>
<p>“Ok sunshine, it's time for me to leave. I love you so much, ok?  I’ll be back soon.” She said, standing to leave. Isa jumped up into her arms, clinging desperately to her uniform fabric.</p>
<p>“Mommy please don't go! I'm sorry! I’ll be good, I promise! Please don't leave !”Isa sobbed, gripping Scylla's arms.</p>
<p>Scylla's eyes started to water as well but she willed herself to stay composed. It was hard enough already.</p>
<p>“I'm so sorry sunshine, mommy has to go now. Don't cry sunshine, it will be alright. Look, you must be a big girl so Mama doesn't cry, how silly she is!” </p>
<p>Isa snuffled, wiping a sleeve across her running nose.</p>
<p>“I love you Isa. I love you so much. Be good for Mama ok? I will be back very soon with lots of new toys for you and candy. Go to Mama now she's so sad! Help her feel better.”</p>
<p>Scylla stood and Raelle collected  Isa who wailed as she was picked up, extending a hand over Raelle's shoulder as she was tucked back into her car seat. Raelle closed the door and walked back to Scylla, both of the wincing as Isa’s sobs were faintly heard from inside the car. </p>
<p>Scylla wiped tears from her eyes as her fellow unit mates consoled her. The blonde kissed her deeply, then touched their foreheads together.</p>
<p>“She’ll be ok. We’ll be ok. Don't worry, just come back.”</p>
<p>And with that Raelle got back into the car and pulled out of the terminal back onto the looping road home.</p>
<p>Whatever they find must be damn important.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. who do i see? when i look into your eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Three months have passed since Scylla left and the girls are doing ok, kinda.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Right Isa! It's just about bedtime now,” Raelle walked to the large bookshelf opposite Isa’s bed, running her finger horizontally across the spines. “We have “Bear in the Big Blue House or maybe Little House On the Prairie?”</p><p>Isa hummed and cuddled her pink stuffed unicorn, a loving gift for her 6th birthday from Tally. He was dubbed ‘Dianthus’, the divine flower, in honor of her favorite book ‘Blizzard of the Blue Moon’. An ambitious name, which was then shortened to Danny as Isa could only get Die-thus due to a few missing teeth. The new book in that series had just come out ‘Dragon of the Red Dawn’, but it was Scylla’s realm mostly. Another thing she would be missing.</p><p>“Mama I want you to tell me a story tonight,” Isa snuggled deeper into her sheets.</p><p>Raelle sat at the base of her bed and stared upwards as the soft shape of stars glowed from their position fixed to the ceiling.</p><p>“A story huh… well, how about the story about Jason and the golden fleece?” She proposed. It was a good story and like most greek myths, could be tinkered and ad-libbed to be as long or as short as she needed it to be.</p><p>“No not that one!” Isa ran her hand repeatedly over Dianthus’ soft fur.</p><p>“Then what do you want to hear sunshine? Hit me! I'm all ears.”</p><p>Isa paused to look at the brand new copy of ‘Dragon of the Red dawn’ sitting on her nightstand. It wasn't even out of the plastic wrap yet. Her eyes fell to the handwritten post- it on the cover.</p><p>It held ‘Happy birthday sunshine! I’ll read this to you when I get home. Love, Mommy’ inscribed with Scylla's smooth font.</p><p>“What was mommy like when you first met?”</p><p>Oh. That sucked the air out of Raelle’s sails completely. The meltdown that had happened on Isa’s birthday was still fresh in her mind. Not even Dianthus in all his glittery unicorn glory could fill the hole of mother's love. But, if she wanted this, she would get it.</p><p>“Well,” Raelle paused, she remembered the terrific noise of the tornados ripping metal to shreds beyond the barbed wire at Fort Salem. Her coy voice sounded from her side. Raelle hummed. “She was beautiful…. The most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Well, besides you kiddo.”</p><p>“Mama I already know that!</p><p>“Well she was funny…”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“Yeah she was very funny, and she could sing. She has the most beautiful voice.”</p><p>Isa was silent, Raelle began to move on to her next story when Isa’s small voice cut through.</p><p>“Can you play me a song?”</p><p>“Which one sunshine?” Raelle smiled, it was not unusual for a song request before bed</p><p>“A song she liked to sing.”</p><p>Oh. A song she liked to sing.</p><p>“Sure thing.let me get my guitar.”</p><p>Raelle stood and walked down the hall to the living room. There in its cradle sat her guitar. It was a thing of beauty, a full size guitar made of dark maple. The body was finished in a sunburst fashion, lighter wood grain in the center slowly darkening from that point till the natural tone of the wood took over. Two holes in the shape of f’s sat on either side of the strings and an ebony pickguard was fastened to the body to match its ebony tailpiece.</p><p>“Ready to count off?”</p><p>Isa nodded and clapped her hands together.</p><p>“1, 2, 3, 4” they said in unison</p><p>Raelle's fingers danced down the neck, strumming gentle chords. Isa smiled and hummed along as Raelle sang sofly.</p><p>
  <em>“I came in from the outside</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Burnt out from the joy ride”</em>
</p><p>Raelle sang into the night. She remembered Scylla and how they met and how they loved. So fast and passionate. Back then they burned like wildfire, hungry for each other, hungry to love and be loved. The flame of their love did not wane. Mission after mission, anxiously waiting for return, aching for the safety of each other's arms in the dark.</p><p>
  <em>“The same kind of music haunts her bedroom</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I'm almost me again, she's almost you”</em>
</p><p>Then came Isa and her wild eyes and soft smile, her hair, her laugh. She furrowed her eyebrows the same. Bobbed to the same music her mother did. It was her again. But the fire that burned behind her eyes was all from Raelle, the reckless streak came from the blonde. Isa was theirs, through and through.</p><p>Raelle played still. She wondered about Isa’s life, growing up with moms that fought terrible battles. With scars and harsh memory.</p><p>But all of that was soothed by sweet love. Every day seems to become easier somehow. Sometimes weeks go by without an outburst. But other times, she calls for Scylla in the night. A heart wrenching cry would ring through the house, reaching Raelle, laying alone in their bed, hands extended to clutch a form long gone. They dream of her. They dream of her warmth and her melodic voice, singing silly songs during car rides, her reassuring words over bruised knees or late bills.</p><p>A lump forms in Raelle’s throat, cracking her voice into splinters. Her fingers faltered on the frets, an off-pitch note springing from the warm tones. She mutes the guitar with a firm palm and lets the tears trickle down her cheeks.</p><p>Isa sat up, watching her mother wipe tear tracks from her face.</p><p>“Are you ok Mama?” she whispered.</p><p>Raelle laughed. “Yes I am sunshine, don't worry.” she ran her hand gently down the neck of the guitar, softly feeling each scratch and chip. Memories cemented into time.</p><p>“ I just miss your mom too.” Raelle cleared her throat and blew her nose into a tissue. “Where was I?”</p><p>She took a deep breath and positioned her hands on the frets. She plucked the next stanzas carefully, willing the music here to reach Scylla wherever she was. The love from her hands and her heart to be carried through the night to Scylla's base camp deep into the mountains. Her daughter, her wife, her home.</p><p>
  <em>“ I've got some color back, she thinks so, too</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I laugh like me again, she laughs like you”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She will come back, Raelle thought. She always does.</p><p>
  <em>"Be still "My Foolish Heart, "</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Don't ruin this on me"</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! Comments/ Reviews much appreciated!</p><p>Bother me on Tumblr @kitkats-creampuffs, and check out the podcast im on! Tv and Tequila, talking about Motherland Fort Salem and our lovely girls.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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